On the shortest, darkest day of the year…

I am afraid of the darkness.
I’m afraid the darkness will never yield.
I’m afraid that those close to me will get hurt.
I’m afraid to get hurt myself.
I am afraid of the future when I read the news.
I’m afraid because I dont understand politics quite often.
I am afraid that I will trust people who will betray me.
I’m afraid that I will trust people again who have already betrayed me.
I’m afraid of economic turmoil.
I’m afraid of being unfree.
I’m afraid that sometimes I’m too stupid to understand complex matter.
I’m afraid that other people will find out.
I’m afraid that the demons inside myself are getting the better of me.
I’m afraid of being left alone one day.
I’m afraid of others coming to close.
I’m afraid of sadness.
I’m afraid of cynicism. (No I just detest that).
I’m afraid of the bashing mob.
I’m afraid of injustice.
I’m afraid of forgetting something important.
I’m afraid of being superficial.
I’m afraid of my heavy heart.
I’m afraid that you will not like this post.
I’m afraid of self pity.
I’m afraid of being a coward.
Yet all that goes away when I go racing.
Racing takes courage.
Audacity.
The howling and the growling of the engines is terrifying.
The Body language of those around me is intimidating.
The tension in the air is hardly bearable.
There are so many things needing to be organised.
One mistake and the wheel comes off.
On mistake and the car comes off track.
One mistake and you hit somebody else.
One mistake and you hurt somebody else.
One mistake and you hurt yourself.
“Ground control to major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
Ground control to major Tom Commencing countdown engines on
Check ignition and may god’s love be with you
And when I sit in the car I am totally utterly alone.
I´m in a spacecraft in a different universe.
“Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare “
There is nothing and THERE is everything.
No more fear.
No more worries. and there is no more time. It’s getting it right or wrong.
All that matters is the next point, the next movement.
All that matters is now.
Merry Christmas.
Happy Holidays.
I wish you all the best.
Don’t be quicker than me on the track!
Please.

13 Comments

  1. Michael W says:

    Niemand ist unfehlbar, es trauen sich aber Wenige dies zuzugeben.

  2. Anonymous says:

    merry christmas, mrs spangenberg.
    all the best wishes to you and yours.
    ben

  3. Master Ben, I thank you!
    Francisco, what a beautiful website you have!

  4. Arneyb says:

    that was quite a dark day when You wrote that, right ?
    Merry Christmas (a bit late), I will try to be faster than You…

  5. jj says:

    Was für ein schönes Bild, wie Du da so einsam auf das Auto wartest … die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.

    Darf ich das mal nehmen?

    Alles Gute im neuen Jahr, Achs- und Speichenbruch.

    Jens

  6. Gabi, thank you and that you win in 2012 is much evidence of classic.
    Happy new year.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Lass es fliegen, Gaby!

    Und immer um den nächsten Levelaufstieg kämpfen!

    Grüße!
    PP

  8. Lieber Arneyb:faster than me? Just try it, boy. Just try….
    jj: das Photo kannst Du natürlich gerne nehmen. Allerdings herrscht die Ruhe im Sturm, nicht davor. DAvor ists immer schrecklich…
    Francisco: Happy new Year to you too!!!
    Lieber PP. Und wie ich kämpfe, dankenswerterweise ja auch mit Deiner Hilfe!!!!!

  9. Simon Osprey says:

    Despite being far away, we are with you; don’t let them get to you! After the storm the sun will come out again.
    Remember to keep control it’s best to have all four tires glued to the road.

  10. Thank you Simon. That ist the best advice for 2012!

  11. May the fuel be with you anytime! Alles Liebe und Reg. from Detlef

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