12 Myths about Asparagus

With the Kobold Racer in the trenches ditch there is not much left to do but cooking.

OK: timing is not that bad, as it is this magical time of year again .

You will probably not credit me for being very original, but hey how can you not be taken in by May.

Even the most hard core junk food addict cannot avoid eating something fresh.

May is simply gargantuan, wild garlic, strawberries, fresh herring, sorrel. Mint. Apricots. And mythical Asparagus. No Vegetable has lend itself more to legends and fairy tales than Asparagus (No no no! That apple in the bible is A: a pomegranate and B: a FRUIT!) and here are the most common myths about it:

1: WHITE Asparagus is best. It is even better if it comes from the holy ground of Germany's sacred fields of the South.
Ugh.
White asparagus is fantastic, it is white because the spears have not seen sunlight unlike the green or purple kind. I love the white variety as it is usual succulent, tasty and somehow very refined in taste but only when it's really fresh: therefore buy local varietes. Trust me: very fresh local asparagus from a lesser well known area will certainly taste better than asparagus from a famous area which has travelled for a day or even longer.
As to the colour: the green, the purple and the white: are the blondes better than the reds or the brunettes??
Ahhhhh!
A question of TASTE..

2: Asparagus is an aphrodisiac.
People who believe in traditional medicine will say: "Scientifically it has not been proven that....bla bla bla...“
Go away.

Or show me anything edible which is more elegant and sexy at the same time.

3: Asparagus eaten raw is toxic.

Not true, but uncooked asparagus does not have the wonderful typical taste.

It needs to be cooked to develop taste.

4: Asparagus must be boiled.
Please steam it if you can: it tastes soooo much better! And if you really have to boil it in water: please please please don‘t overcook!!!! The rule is: if the asparagus bends slightly when pronged on a fork it‘s perfect. If it starts hanging over it‘s totally overdone and in that case don‘t invite me . I HATE overdone fibrous, spongy, soft Asparagus-mash.
Crunchy juicy yum yum yum, that´s what I like.

5: Asparagus should not be frozen.

You CAN freeze it: but what for? It will not make it taste better and the best about seasonal produce is longing for it!

6: Asparagus should be cooked standing upright, with the heads outside of the waterline. Yes. Add half a teaspoon of salt some butter and lemon against discoloration. And don‘t use Pots made of aluminium. Use steel.

7: Asparagus is a typical german vegetable.

Originating in Asia Minor, it travelled via Persia and Egypt to Europe. It was the Romans (yet, again) who farmed it first and we only started growing it in the 16 century.

8: Asparagus makes your Urine smell.

Only for 40 % of the population, lacking some enzyme connected to digesting it. If you're part of these 40%. Tough luck. Yet things could be worse.

9: Asparagus will taste great whatever you drink with it.
Sorry again but red wine and beer contain tanning agents which will make asparagus taste really bitter. Go for white. Or Water. (ouch? I have to write this, don‘t I? for political correctness?))

10: Asparagus grown under foil will taste musty.
Apparently no difference here. But who am I to say?

11: Cut ends looking fresh are an indicator for freshness.
No again. It just means they are freshly cut...
Fresh Asparagus should be firm, the ends juicy when squeezed lightly, you should be able to scratch it easily with you fingernail.

12: Asparagus is best enjoyed with Sauce hollandaise.
Everybody loves Sauce hollandaise and it IS really easy to make BUT: there is nothing in the world more satisfying than Asparagus with Butter and Parmesan! On Toast. Unbelievably easy! Unbelievably delicious!!!!

The best and quickest lunch ever:

1 slice of nice bread. Somehow wholegrain is better...

5 spears asparagus

Lots of butter

Lots of parmesan.

Steam or boil the asparagus till ready but still CRUNCHY! (crunchy crunchy.)

Toast bread and butter on both sides (the meltier the merrier)

Place spears on bread.

Add more butter.

Slice parmesan on top.

season with salt and pepper.

And invite me for lunch.

Please.